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I Thought Don Johnson Was Dead

Don Johnson looks like a bum

Today’s Theatre Hopper examines the point of the Miami Vice movie. I think Tom is onto something when he asks why the movie was even made. I mean, who gives two shits about pastel suits, rolled sport-coat sleeves, and cheesy eighties techno? The show was never good to begin with.

How do I know this?

Because my father loved the damn show, so as a child Miami Vice was crammed into my unsuspecting brain. Images of Don Johnson cavorting around in sock-less loafers and spouting cliches still play back in my mind as horrible night terrors.

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I’ve been informed that this is nothing like the old show, and in fact has no pastels.

Man, remember when Don Johnson was arrested for smuggling 6 billion dollars over the border in Germany?

That was awesome.

Tubbs is my father. Only I don’t call him Tubbs. I call him ‘Papa’.

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