But will the searing pain of a thousand suns deter me from my duties to you? No! But this will be brief.
After the last few weeks I was ready for a little cute. (Here’s something that’s not cute: the phone company taking–no joke–a week and a half to fix my phone line.) I found it in Hey Pais, which is the…well, okay, it’s the first webcomic I’ve ever read that’s pitched like the cat is the creator. The conceit is kind of cute, and The Girl mentioned in the comic is Sara Bauer, maker of wicked cute minicomics and some “sporadically updated” online work as well.
Part of why there’s a whole lot of new work is because of the Thirty Days Project, which sounds like an awesome idea. Held in April 2008, it basically states “You create something before the end of the day every day for thirty days.” From there, what you create’s up to you. Kind of an interesting list of participants.
The comic is full of cute images as well as goofy cat-name puns, origin stories, tattoos, and funny jokes on band names (look for the t-shirt). It won’t take you long to read through the archives, but it won’t be time wasted.
]]>First up, a quick note from the Energizer Bunny of webcomicdom — Kevin & Kell, which has as good a claim on the title of “oldest continuing webcomic” as any contender I’m aware of, is releasing its thirteenth book next month. If, as they say, half of success is just showing up every day, Bill Holbrook’s a pretty damn successful guy. More details here.
Down to business. Recently received in my email:
Øyvind Thorsby wrote:
Hitmen For Destiny has reached 100 strips.
Short and to the point, I like that. A webcomic I’d not heard of, that’s good. And non-English character in the name? Gold. That was almost as far as I got, because Hitmen For Destiny is, sad to say, damn ugly. Not merely primitive in its art, but really, really, eye-hurtingly painful. Holy Assmaster I thought, it’s User Friendly with freakin’ big heads.
But we’ve talked about this before — the question of whether or not writing alone is enough to carry a strip. We’ve considered situations where the art is as minimal as will get the idea across, or deliberately taken out of the equation, but this is a case of Can writing save a strip where the art is just bad?
I think it might. There’s a clever idea serving at the core of Hitmen For Destiny — a pair of cadaverous (and in at least one case, otherwordly) goons work for Destiny (the proverbial Destiny — the anthropomorphic personification of What Will Be) making sure that prophecies come true, by killing anything that might get in the way. That’s a really interesting idea, but you have to sort of tease it out; it’s not explicitly presented to you. Along the way, a quite normal young lady gets thrown into a mix of prophecy fulfillment (even if she doesn’t realize it), leading to a cavalcade of bizarre monsters and absurd situations.
But balance that against the fact that Hitmen For Destiny contains an installment titled In which my throat inflation fetishist readers are catered for. Be warned: that link contains exactly what it promises.
Despite the visuals (and even if you didn’t click on that link, it’s in your head now — I had to see it, you have to see it, too) there’s a gleeful tone to the batshit insanity of it all, and even if 100 strips later the art hasn’t significantly improved from the first strip, damn if I couldn’t say I was curious to see what happened next. The story meanders, and the central conceit of an army of goons making sure Things Happen is only rarely addressed, but I wanted to see just what kind of whackjobbery Thorsby would come up with next.
If nothing else, a series of three different sets of antagonists fighting out in three-and-a-half different places in a house (there’s these portals, see, and they skitter around, and … nevermind, just read it yourself), with quick cuts from one confrontation to another, and space becoming not just where the action takes place, but an active component of the scene — it’s obvious that Thorsby is really trying to show us something that we haven’t seen before, and if the visuals don’t match up to the concept, I’m finding myself not entirely caring about the visuals. Except for the throat-inflation thing. That’s just — ew.
]]>Items of note:
But it’s all better now, which is why there’s a brandy-new front page and forum and everything for Transplant, and it all looks pretty nice. Kudos to Hewitt for backing up the databases, and for obeying the first rule of engineers everywhere: If it ain’t broke, break it and see what you can do with the pieces.
Hey kiddies, just back from my time away (piece of advice: anniversary trips rule), and I see that you’ve been up to lots in my absence. I don’t mind, on account of all the time I had playing dress-up for fancy dinners in my robot socks, drinking beers with one-time NPR personalities, and having a Holy crap, aren’t you Andrew Farago and Shaenon Garrity? moment on the subway (on Free Comic Book Day no less). Also: wine and cheese.
And it’s not just me celebrating marriage (15 years, thank you) — matrimony appears to be in the air in webcomicdom, what with Beef narrowly averting a wedding- (and life-) destroying mistake, and some nuptials over at PvP. Scott Kurtz has been showcasing some terrific art, and it now appears that the whole wedding storyline is a case of I told you that story so I could tell you this one. Major shakeup coming it seems, mixed in with a very amusing Winnie Ther Pooh reference. Pretty damn good work, Kurtz — let’s see what you’ve got for the next ten years.
And in completely unrelated news: shirt ninjas.
]]>So I’m back. I’m also pretty ass-draggy and two weeks behind what you reprobates have been up to, so this is gonna be quick.
Spike is takin’ pre-orders for the second volume of Templar, AZ. You, not being the enemy of all that is good in life, want the second volume of Templar, AZ. You will obtain it now by clicking here. Keep in mind that until the pre-orders roll in it’s not going to press which means I can’t get my copy so move, people.
]]>Editor’s note: Light at the end of the tunnel time, folks — nearly back to regular access, and in the meantime, we can enjoy the most batshit insane stunt I’ve ever pulled.
People on the internet: What business brought you here? I stayed up all night working on a draft of a new book based on the Structured Query Language for databases! That’s because, some days, I take an envelope out of the box and I PUSH IT. I notice you are leaving! Could my conversational stylings be partially to blame?? Hah hah, I guess I was being kind of silly! any event in which I was embarrassed is now non-canon. I’ve also retroconned my name to be “Mister Awesome”, by the way!
It occurs to me… Today is a good day I think to talk about DINOSAUR COMICS Your whole family is made out of meat, an allegorical comic and comic allegory Dude! It’s SO GOOD. Holy crap yes! I was like, “Aaaaaahhhh!” “HELLO T-REX” What is the attraction to this structure of humour? I think this is very symbolic for… something! Is it a metaphor? My friend, I am simply asking the questions that need to be asked!
Here is a hypothetical situation: T-REX AS CULTURAL CRITIC: maybe he’s got this weird fetishistic cultural interest in inefficient, repressive institutions. You were raised on fairy tales, where there were no moral grey areas, where good and bad were clear, where there was never any real doubt over which side would win in the end! That’s a pretty crazy theory! Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof! Imagine my dismay at coming to such a realization!
What are you saying that’s original? The thought DID cross my mind! I have surprised even myself! Argh! So frustrated! Well, this has been quite the anagnorisis (a moment of recognition or discovery)! To summarize: Fuuuuck I’m screwed! I’m pooched, man! I’m pooched! Being pooched is akin to being screwed! C’est vraiment incroyable, ça! I must guard against such self-absorption in the future! I GUESS THERE IS A LESSON HERE FOR US ALL!
Why are you so interested in this, anyway? Seriously everyone! How come? However, that will be more than enough excitement for me! Any final comments, T-Rex? T-REX AND HIS WACKY DINOSAUR FRIENDS Five stars! Are you jealous of my mutant dinosaur powers? T-REX WINS! Wooo! I declare: high fives all around! FINALLY: HUGS AND KISSES! Aww! Come’ere you!
]]>Editor’s note: Set the Wayback Machine for March of 2006, as we have a bit of fun with Cryptostraubian apophenia.
More of the discussion on syndication coming soon, folks.
But first, with a apologies to whichever lit-crit school it is that declares authorial intent irrelevant (I never learned those things; I went to nerd school), I draw your attention to today’s Starslip Crisis. Clearly, Kristofer Straub is taking the opportunity to kick T Campbell while he’s hurting and should be enjoying himself.
Proof: The character’s a southern “colonel”, and T went to college in Virginia, which is in the South. The character is a discusser of indie arts, that’s webcomics and indy comics. He’s named Samuel Q Breckenridge, which can be anagrammed to A BRICK DE MENSE REQ GUL: a brick de [French for "of"] Mense [typo of MENSA, T is a member] req[ires] gul[libility]. Clearly, an attack on T. For the sake of all that’s holy, look at the man’s tie — all he’s missing is an ascot that spells out “Campbell”!
It all makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?
]]>Editor’s note: Still with the lack of regular access? Yep. But let’s dip the ladle of recollection into the bucket of history once again, as a young Gary first meets Chris Hastings and they talk of The Great Outdoor Fight.
So I was talking with a guy at the Andy Bell opening because he was wearing a Great Outdoor Fight shirt. “Nice shirt,” I said. “Thanks,” he replied, “What do you think is going to happen next?”
In truth, I told him, I had no idea. Everything we know, the entire storied legend of the Great Outdoor Fight, has been revealed in little pieces since Mrs Smuckles let slip a choice tidbit over Rib-eye and Chablis less than two months ago. And it’s always dangerous to predict what Chris Onstad is thinking; the only prediction I would make is that he would take the story in a completely unexpected direction. Ergo: The Jeeps. Like every other aspect of the Great Outdoor Fight (too big a fight to be constrained by acronym or abbreviation), this is new to us, but not to Roast Beef.
Ray, in his ignorance, is more than willing to face The Jeeps … or is that the real reason at all? Does he not appreciate the dangers that they face? Hard to believe, since Beef has filled him in; could he possibly be sincere in his defiant bellow:
Man, fuck those guys! The hell they’re gonna say how this Fight is won! BRING ON THE JEEPS, GOD DAMN YOU!
Ray, of all people, is trying to rebel against the system instead of gaming it or weaseling for advantage. He’s taking something like a principled stand here, maybe only because he doesn’t realize the import of The Jeeps. Beef, of all people, might be pushed by sheer terror to putting a major beatdown on Ray rather than face The Jeeps (and to save Ray’s life, but will he recognize that?). Or, given that it’s Achewood and death is malleable (especially where Beef is concerned), and the fact that keys are being passed around, maybe we see two more grave markers southeast of the Acres.
“Why should the Fight get to say how the Fight is won or lost! Become the ruling body, dude!” is no less impressive than “Give me Liberty or give me Death!” “Beat your best friend since small times ’til he can’t crawl, see or cry … or Death” doesn’t have quite the same ring, but it looks like Hobson had nothing on Beef’s Choice.
]]>Editor’s note: Gary’s lack of regular internet access continues, so please enjoy a dip into the past. This one is about a heinous crime visited upon webcomics by a villain of the first order (a fact only confirmed by his enormous height, looming over decent folk and webcomickers like a malevolent mountain). In fact, since this piece was first written in early 2007, the problem has only gotten worse. Do the math. Follow the trail. The end is coming.
QC is fast becoming the Kevin Bacon of webcomics; if Dwayne McDuffie’s theory of TV crossovers applies to webcomics as well, this means webcomcis as we know them don’t really exist. Counting cameos and explicit crossovers, you can play Six Degrees of Marten and Faye with Punks and Nerds, Something Positive, Midnight Macabre, New Gold Dreams, Queen of Wands, Bobbin, Scandal Sheet, Scary Go Round, Bobbins, Goats, Worlds of Peril (subscription needed, links through Fineas), megaGAMERZ 3133T, The Creatures In My Head, Nukees (which gives us Schlock Mercenary), Mystic for Hire, Buzzboy, Narbonic, Lil’ Mel, Picture Story Theatre, Fans (subscription needed, links through Dr Narbon), College Roomies From Hell, Roomies/It’s Walky/Joyce and Walky, Shortpacked, Melonpool (iteration 1), Cool Cat Studio (reference in Fans to Evil Mike), Lethal Doses, Winter, Mac Hall, Megatokyo, Applegeeks, Angry Zen Master, Little Gamers, Ctrl-Alt-Delete, Waiting for Bob, User Friendly, When I Grow Up, Wigu, Magical Adventures in Space, The TV Network Channel, Overcompensating, PvP, Penny Arcade, Diesel Sweeties, and Sluggy Freelance all sharing a reality.
If the guest strips from when Pete Abram’s daughter was born are considered canon, you can work in Bruno the Bandit, Kevin and Kell and GPF (which leads to Newshounds, Help Desk and Kernel Panic). Actually, allowing guest strips is probably a bad idea, as it permits the Jacques/Logan rivalry further space to spread its poison. Finally, if you consider content not explicitly designed for the web, you can even link in Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield! And that’s just off the top of my head. Now considering that Melonpool rebooted, and Jeff Rowland has a tendency to delete universes, this means that Jacques may have managed to invalidate the existence of most of webcomics.
For the love of God, Jeph … stop hurting webcomics.